Who am I?
September 27, 2011
The stormy and cold night makes me wanna write again.
It’s night like this when you reflect and wish that life was easier.
A school of dream, success, and prestige.
A place where many people aim to go.
A place filled with praise and compliments when mentioned.
A school that elicit envious remarks.
I have done it, made it, achieved it.
But sometimes I ask myself.
Am I really….. happy?
And there are times when I go..
What am I doing? Is this what.. I want?
Ironic that I am thinking twice about an option that people (maybe me even, before being here) would die for.
Ironic that what you want is not what you get.
That’s just life.
I have no courage to be different.
Although I sometimes desperately want to be a non-conformist.
There’s too much at stake.
I want to feel alive in this place.
I want to feel happy and meaningful again.
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On such a night where the it’s cold and comfortable,
Don’t you just wish to snuggle beside someone?
Sometimes solitude creeps in.
So badly that I want to scream.
But I hide the fears away,
because good things don’t come in a day.
“You got to learn to be happy on your own”
There are a lot of setbacks. It’s really not easy.
But I must and I will continue to press hard on this journey of self-growth and self-discovery.
