maybe if i believe.

dazed in front of the computer,
don’t feel like doing anything useful,
thinking about tomorrow and the days to come,
the feeling of uncertainty flooded me,
im lost.

like a young kid who got lost in the shopping mall,
don’t know where to go,
unsure of what to do,
scared of what’s gonna happened next.

but the only differences is that im not a kid anymore.
i can’t just cry and then some miracle will happen and
a stranger will appear and bring me
to the information counter to look for my parents.

because there isn’t gonna be anyone to lead you anymore
even if i decide to cry my eyes out.
no miracles, no help, no directions.

 

im facing it all alone.

ERGHHHHHHHHH

had 10/10 rehearsal in the morning today.
met up with sai clan after that.
they never fail to make my day.
no matter how bad your day can be,
with them, you forget all your problems.

we had dinner and then went to watch ‘the days’
not bad for a local movie already.
though the ending is a bit…. =\

and good times always pass the fastest.
no pictures today because we were busy having fun.
so now im back at home, thinking about all those problems again.
people smoke when they are feeling damn vexed right?
now for once, i wish im a smoker.
fuck this shit.
when will the black clouds ever go away?

 

雨后总有晴天
我的晴天到底在哪??

 

im feeling fucking
vexed, annoyed, irritated, disturbed, angry, distress, upset, troubled, worried, exasperated.

To trouble the nerves or peace of mind of,
especially by repeated vexations.

ERGH!

why.

as i’ve said,
my life revolve around sleeping and working.
had work at raffles courtyard today.
damn bloody hot.
raffles hotel de uniform is those dry fit material one.
damn uncomfy.
and finally its over.
aren’t going anywhere near that line anymore!

early in the morning.. my face look like bullshit. and thats why.

uniform of raffles hotel. super thick one i tell you. =\

on my way back. i saw this while waiting for mrt.
i thought it was rather…. lame.

speak good english so that your love ones know how u feel about them.
EH THEN SPEAK CHINESE THEY CANNOT KNOW ISSIT.
so lame right the advertisement. out of no where ask ppl speak good english.

tried calling the sai clan out after work.
but forget it, i gave up.
all of them so busy, don’t wanna etertain me. ):

and now im bored at home after a nap.
i dream of going to f1 just now. -.-

 

I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
Did I make it that easy to
Walk right in and out
Of my life?

 

Will you quit playing with my heart?
Quit messing it upside down,
And quit breaking it again and again?
If that’s your intention,
I’m telling you, you did it.
Good job asshole.

niap

work today. very tiring though.
today worked at RASA sentosa.
the managers there look fierce but is pretty nice to us. (:
(they quarrel with one another in front of us -.-)
so today was quite alright although we did a lot
of sai kang. (shit jobs)

clear plate, set plate,
collect food, pour drinks,
portion food, clear utencils, clear table.
one person do 3 freaking tables.
everything inclusive.
for once, i think im quite a superwomen.

———————————————————–

its funny.
its funny how i just withnessed a wedding banquet today
(like what i’ve said, this is what i like about banquet,
to see happy couples together. and i know im emo, but i really feel like crying when seeing them tie their knots together. so sweet right.. and for once tonight, i thought about how i would look like and how things would be like when i get married or when my friends get married in future)

okay back to why its funny.
its a funny feeling when you just came back from a wedding dinner
and you read about a divorce from someone u know upon reaching home.
how they complain that marriage is so hard to keep..
but yet you just withness a ceremony that hint you that love is possible?

its really a weird feeling.

—————————————————————–

you know how it feels like
to have so much things to ask, to say
but yet nothing comes out of your mouth?
and that you are scared of facing everything?

i know you’re back.
and the thought of it is killing me.

——————————————————-

 

i think
that’s not love.

i won!

just had a battle with xiao qiang just now.
omg, i swear im so fucking scared of flying cockroach.
i know im mean, but why cant such disgusting
pest just die off from this universe?!

damn scary u know!
i called my helper, my aunt to help me with this big mission.
we were searching high and low for it
(because if we cant find, i cant slp -.-)
and yeah we finally got it killed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very bad i know.. but pls lah. its damn big and it can flyyyyy.
if u are cursing me now, i hope it’s soul fly to ur house. -.-

okay. see, the cockroach 把我吓傻了.
thats why talking nonsense here.

alright time for bed!
working tomorrow.
omg, im gonna be damn tired.
i can forsee the futureeeeee. ):
wish me luck. hope the ppl tml wont bully me.
ps: tml not working at hotstones lah!
ppl there don’t really bully me.

goodnight! don’t miss me too much!

i wonder why at that time,
i wished you were here with me.

art of the devil.

是习惯 还是爱
不放心 还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答

 

 
Every time I get stuck the words won’t fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied.

Tonight alone in my room.

something funny happened at work today.

a delivery man ; hands carrying a bouquet of flowers.
he walked towards me and said

man: “hello are you vivian?”
me: “er yes”
man: “okay this is the flowers for you from XXX”
me: “huh who?”
man: “XXX”

in my mind i was like,
who the hell is XXX?
but the message wrote happy birthday bla bla bla
ya, my birthday coming soon leh..
so i gave the man a blur look.

then this man showed me the order form.

name: vievienie(can’t remember but some funny spelling) lim
9XXXXXXX

in my mind i was like,
ya my surname is lim..
but this is not how my name is spelled as.
for a moment i tot maybe the man got the spelling wrong.

man: “is this your phone number? did i call you just now?”
me: give him the no look.

and this is when i know,
the flowers wasnt for me.
but then again, the address is delivered to hotstones correct leh.
hmmm…
a customer walked towards us.

customer: “er the flowers are mine. you called me just now.”

-.-
diao. same name and same surname.
damn paiseh i tell you. =\

for a moment, i thought is was from you.
how dumb.

 

off day tomorrow!
meeting some of the sai clan for dinner!
the pathetic few of us.

okay time to go. bye.

colour my life.

life is all about work.
so no pictures for you.
thursday is my self proclaimed off day
supposedly have work but cancelled.

i hope im going out.
i hope i have a place to go.
i hope i have ppl to go with!

argh, how pathetic.

i think i know what i need now.
i need the crayons of my life.

whatever.

this is us at ichiban on sunday.

acting retarded as usual.

 

ARGHHHH.
ULCER EVERYWHERE!
#$%^&!!*%

damn bloody ugly and irritating.

today when im putting on make up for work,
i was applying my concealer to hide those
disgusting pimples.
how i wish i could use the concealer to conceal my ulcer.
WOO. sounds great. -.-

whatever.
if my life now can be told like a story,
the story will sound like this.

once upon a time,
there live a ugly bitch who works all day long.
she work and sleep and work and sleep.

thats the end.

-.-

bye goodnight.

oh no,
im falling sick.

what could have been worse?

ohmy.