Hit by a brick the other day,
just when I thought that I’m okay.
and now all i need is to pick up
the broken pieces all over again.
if this is a game, im sorry i cant afford to play.

 

nothing is safe anymore.
eat shit drink pee and scoop sai lah.

 

mixed

i always have this very mixed feeling inside me.
like my heart is making a rojak.
okay i know its a very lame example.
but yeah, if you know what i mean.

tonight, like always, i just want to rant on.

is it a blessing to be born naive, oblivious, gulible?
is it bad to think that there are no evil in this world
and we have rainbows, happiness and fairytales in our lives?
but so sad to say, we live in a really ugly world.

betrayal, lies, hypocrites, back stabber, player, assholes
they don’t just happen in a tv series.
they all happened in this real world that we are living in.

the problem with me is i trust too easily.
people make use of that to attack my vulnerabilities.
the problem with me is im too gulible.
i have no one to blame but myself for the silly things i’ve done.

the problem with me is i do things without thinking.
i blog too much personal things
that i never once realize that it could be dangerous.

but isn’t it gonna be a very tiring world
if we are constantly guessing who’s true and who’s not,
who’s good and who’s not.
who’s trustworthy and who’s not.

its so sad that we lived in such a world.
but then again,
im also one person that make this ugly world.

i too, gossip, bitch, lied.
ARGH. whatever man.

oh and i just want to tell you what a loser you are
because you repeatedly do not see it
and by doing it, you are constantly
messing up my heart.

save your own shit.

entrapment.
sunkcost.

yes i recognised them.

——————————————

on a lighter note,
pearlyn is influencing the whole class to talk like miss swan.

ha luuuuuu everyoneeeeee.
im going to sleeeeeepppp.

think twice.

school was always awesome!
FBS we were playing around
and we performed the skit for felix and the class.
we just start reciting our lines and we got so high we performed for the class. -.-
and yes, this is dadp. (:

devised drama was also playing around.
haha our little devise work was ultimate random and crappy.
then we got a little small workshop organised by our lecturers.
it got everyone a little emo at the end.
):

and then raffles city for subway!
talked and then trained home.
on the way back, i saw someone that look fucking alike with ________
HOTTER SOMEMORE. OMG *drools*
HAHAHA IM JK. =x

okay whatever vivian is mad.

im now going to upload the tons of picture from the rehearsals.
the group photo is not up yet. so gotta like wait AGAIN.

photos from ms tan birthday

xj and banqi popping up at her place first.

then kenny

by the time val pop up, she know we are up to something. haha

the cake!

the blacks

the whites.

(:

rehearsals

ah beng father. (wee peng)

suantze directing wee peng.

cam whore like no body’s business.

 

while waiting for them to do their scene, we just play around and take stupid pitures. evidence as follow.

im thristy! I WANT WATER! lol.

LOL sorry lah, we are crazy people.

my ‘auntie’ necklace. lol.

LOL LIKE THOSE WORKING IN THE TEMPLE. HAHAHA. damn funny i tell you.

scandalous. haha

er ah beng’s wife? lol.

HAHAHAHAHAAHA

we were playing so much that my director wanted to kill us! HAHAHA she’s suantze, my creative comm teacher if you haven’t realised by now. haha

lol

AVE MARIA!

okay i know i look like i have constipation. but i was trying to act emo. -.-

all ACT like we can play lah hur.

HAHAHAHA. look real right! lol

hi.

lol

the flowers are beautiful isn’t it?

my cute gina. hahah (:

rehearsal in progress.

im the “auntie” can!

lol

ARGH ITS SO SCARY. SAVE MEEEEE! -.-

its actually VERY easy to carry jieying. HAHA. 

and you know something? the pictures are still transfering. 
will post the remaining photos some time later.

 

why don’t you just fuck off and die?
like seriously. 

not gonna let you spoil it

omg i have like so many things and photos to blog about!
the performance was okay. we made it through.
although i stumbled and forgot some of my lines. ):
but overall, we still receive good comments!
well done guys! (:

i have like over a 100 photos for the rehearsal!
will post some of them another day because its like 12am now.
i need to sleep cause i have school tml!
I LOVE SCHOOL!

eh, btw, mum got me new connection already.
omg, even unsecured network also way faster than m1 lo.
i think m1 should go take their broadband and throw on the wall.
at least can produce a ’bang’ sound. -.-

and mummy got me a camera for my birthday present.
yes, very advanced i know. haha. (:

so im like very happy this few days.
and i swear im not gonna let YOU spoil it in any way.
although i know you already did,
but now im going to move on
strong and bold,
embracing every single new day.

what can i say.
im just too naive. 

now i just want to close my eyes,
pretend i didnt do anything,
pretend that i didnt know.
call it escape,
i have no time and i don’t wanna think about it.
things will be fine.
somehow.

 

ok, going to bed sounds like a better idea. bye. 

(:

(:

long post ahead.

 

killed

i feel so information loaded now.
omfg, group dynamics is eating my brain awayy! NO!!! ):
im exploding.

so when my bran burst, u will not see blood.
instead you will see theories and concepts of group dynamics.

you will see ingroup-outgroup bias
confimation bias
shared information bais
illusion of invulnerability
bla bla bla.

omg its going to be 1am,
i need to sleep!
wish me luck
pray for me will you?
i swear i’ve never studied so hard in my life before.

goodnight.
all the best to myself. -.-
bye.

fuck it

i hate it,
but what choice do i have?

i think im exploding.

 

ya i know the feeling,
i know the feeling of hoping that superman can come and save you.

and i badly need a superman/badman/spiderman
and whatever man that can save people now.
YES, like RIGHT NOW.

why cant everything just wait a little longer
at least after group dynamics is over.
im feeling so distracted now.
my attention is split onto so many things
i cannot concentrate.

i’ve change my mind.
i will be going tc tml.
wendy said we will be meeting fanny for the first time
so it would be nice to at least pop by and say hello.
which means,
I WILL HAVE NO TIME TO STUDY LAH.

 

one thing that came out of my mind while studying
is that i have learn many things the hard way.

i have learn how to cherish things
only when its gone the hard way.

and another thing i’ve really learn is
spending quality time is more important than quantity time.

and everytime we fall,
we learn something new.

but if only that fall isn’t painful.

 

 

i hate typing and then backspace
typing and then delete everything again.

so im going to stop trying to form my thoughts into proper sentences.

SCREW THIS SHIT.
i wonder when will it stop.
although i hate to admit,
but the truth is the choice lies in me.

teach me how to die a pain-free death?
maybe one day i’ll need it.
BOO.

not again

fuck it, that feeling is back again.

if only there is a word that can sum up
all the different emotions that im feeling right now.

one thing for sure,
im feeling pretty stress now.

i’ve been reading my notes,
im left with one chapter.
but the best thing is,
when i look back,
i cant really recalled whatever i’ve read.
which is really quite bad.

on the other hand,
i might have phonetics test on thurs
which definitely spell trouble because
i do not understand any shit of it
and i have not done any revision.

screw this shit lahhhhh.

ARGH IM SO STRESS IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!

and you know what?
i need to sleep now because i have school tomorrow.
dunno if i should cheer about it.
i would definitely,
if poly life isn’t that stress.

byeeeee.

 

 

humans are so weird.
we rather choose a rotten apple over a fresh one.
we kept thinking about the rotten apple
and think that the fresh and good one doesn’t suit us.
or maybe, its just me that is weird.
and thats the ironic thing.

WHATEVER.
i need some release stress pills.

i need the antidote

“loneliness- an awareness that one’s relationships with others are too few or so superficial that one feels a sense of disconnection, sadness and emptiness. It occurs when pople have trouble establishing a long-term, meaningful, intimate relationship with another person. Such emotional loneliness might be triggered by divorce, a breakup with a lover, or repeated romantic failures. “

 

“social anxiety sets in when people want to make a good impression, they wanted too much to impress, but they do not think that their atempts to establish relationship will succeed and ended up making a fool out of themselves.”

dear doctor,
is there any cure for the illness stated above?