a mess

i don’t know how to describe this feeling i am having now.

ytd night, i told myself,
this would be the last time,
im gonna shed any tears for you.
ytd night would be the last time,
i would ever cry for you.
i deleted everything that has to do with you.

new hairstyle, new look.
and hopefully a new start.
thinking that mayb i should really move on.
it wouldnt do any good staying at the same point hoping that one day you’ll see im at the same place waiting for you to return.

i thought i really could do it.
until you talked to me.
it isn’t your fault.
its jus that god love to play pranks on me.
he just loved to see everything crash in my life.
don’t get me wrong, i love toking to you.
i miss talking to you.

hahahahah,
i could only laugh at myself.

im feeling very emo right now,
if emo is the word.
my room is like a rubbish bin,
so messy so ugly,
just like my life.

im no longer the vivian you knew a month ago.
i don’t know if this is good or bad.
bad i suppose, to some.

im paranoid.
because i think some people don’t like me.
im a bimbo( only the stupid part, not the pretty part)

god just love to screw everything at one go.
whats more to come?
i don’t wanna believe that voodoo doll is the cause. lol.
just let me rant on will you?

i think i will go into depression
if i continue thinking so much.

i think im insane.
i am starting to not mind being a bitch.
so ppl out there, beware of me.

hahaha, now you can see.
im really mad.

 

im feeling sad.
and i remembered a few days ago i just told myself that i never ever wanna be sad anymore.
fuck this.

im really going crazy.
send me to woodbridge maybe.